I Couldn’t Press Send On The FB Message

i don’t want to create a scary wall of text here but i do want to say a few more things that i couldn’t bring myself to say before in person, which is how i should really be say this. for a long time i hadn’t seen you as much more than a friend, but we got along well, and there was something magnetic about you that i thought was worth seeing through. i definitely should have said something earlier, months earlier, because that’s a lot of time to be treated poorly and ignored, and again, that really wasn’t fair to you. so even though i didn’t think (or want to think) this was the case, in the end i couldn’t see you as more than a friend. i’m sorry we never actually spent time together, and even though this sounds like an excuse, i was pretty much too crunched for time to do much with you. again, unfair. but what i really want to say is that i want to be friends. whether or not you continue to hang out with upperclassmen, we’re going to see each other, and for me, that’s actually not awkward. i regret not trying to get to know you, so sure, it’s not like i’m happy right now, but i hope there isn’t anything that would prevent us from getting along well otherwise. you’re a funny, knowledgeable, likable person and i would actually be pretty bummed if i had to miss out on that just because this semester probably didn’t work out the way either of us thought it would. i feel like i can’t quite apologize enough for myself and i really don’t know if you’re all that torn up about whatever happened–and i may just be super selfish for saying this–but what i’ve wanted was just to actually be friends with you. and i hope that things don’t really need to change much between us to be able to do that


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